#i could be wrong and it isnt their bdays at all

[my313]

in beomgyu's room 🧸

now playing 𝄞₊⊹ bad - wave to earth & best friend - laufey

⋆ pairing: bestfriend!beomgyu x f!reader

⋆ summary: a reel of your most precious memories in beomgyu’s room(s), and the one time it’s also yours.

⋆ genre/themes/warnings: fluff, childhood friends, best friends to lovers, non-idol au, mention of mommy kink (sorry they have weird inside jokes)

⋆ word count: 3.6k

a/n: this isnt proofread n i dont think its my best writing, i wanted to focus on dialogue a lot more :0 but i just wanted to put out a lil something for gyu's bday <3 our talented pretty boy 🥹 anyways, i hope u enjoy reading this!

2009 

beomgyu’s room at eight years old is directly opposite from your window. you recently watched taylor swift’s you belong with me music video, and your unassuming neighbor who just recently moved in has become the center of the romantic production running in your little mind. 

when his family invites you over for dinner, you’re giddy to put a name to the pretty boy that’s been in your sights; only ever seeing him with a guitar strapped to his back when he walks by your house as you sit on the porch with a book. 

“hi,” he’s the one opening the door, greeting you enthusiastically. you assumed he would have been a shy boy, especially with the way he walked with his head down and never without an mp3 player and wired earphones. that was just one of the many surprises beomgyu had in store for you and your serendipitous friendship.

beomgyu smiles politely at your parents before pulling the door back and letting you all inside. your mother’s ushering you to the boy, hurriedly greeting his parents and leaving you in beomgyu’s care. 

you turn to him, shy and unsure of what to do, but beomgyu’s there to pull you out of your daydreams. he slightly tugs the sleeve of your shirt, chin tilted to the direction of the stairs. “wanna play mario kart in my room?”

you’re scanning the room to look for your parents, silently asking permission with your eyes when you catch your dad looking back at you. when he nods, you’re quick to relay it to beomgyu, who returns the biggest smile you’ve seen. boys are usually rough around the edges, either boisterous or freakishly hyper-aware of cooties, but beomgyu is different. he’s just loud enough to have you laughing until your tummy hurts, but he’s also a good listener. 

your feet dangle from the height of his bed while he sets up his wii. it only takes a few minutes of tinkering and confused grumbles before beomgyu joins you, sitting close and handing over the controller. 

“i’ve never played this game before!” your voice chimes with the game’s background music, fiddling with the buttons on your controller and accidentally pressing something that makes beomgyu laugh. 

“that’s okay,” he navigates through the buttons on the screen to take you back to the starting screen. “i’ll go easy on you.”

you may have gotten beomgyu all wrong, because as you inch closer to stealing his first place spot on your eighth round of playing, he throws a green shell at you, putting you off-course. 

“that’s so not fair, beomgyu!” you grumble frustratedly, shoulders slumped. beomgyu has a mischievous smile on his face; a different charm to the friendly one you encountered at his doorway, or the re-assuring one when he asked to play mario kart.

“i didn’t even know you could do that.” you whine, twisting your body left and right as if it would take away from your loss.

beomgyu’s mouth opens, but instead of hearing his squeaky voice, you both hear your mom’s. 

“yn, time to go home!”

you both tear your eyes away from the doorframe to look at one another. 

“teach me next time?” you plead, eyes shiny and hopeful that you’ve got a new friend to play with. someone who would always be next to you.

beomgyu feels similarly. he lets it show by nodding enthusiastically, his rectangular glasses pressed onto his rising cheeks, swelling from all the smiling he’s done tonight.

2017

“choi beomgyu!” you yell from the bottom of the staircase, leaning on the creaky railing despite beomgyu’s constant warnings of “you’re gonna fall off one day, y’know.”

you’re both sixteen years old, and tonight is prom. unlike the books you read, you were not serenaded by the most beautiful (subjective) boy in school; but like the disney movies, you’re at your best friend’s house and going as each other’s dates. 

the idea was initially disgusting to both you and beomgyu, suggested by menacingly blunt choi soobin during one of your escapades to the internet cafe. when prom started to come closer and closer, you and beomgyu would briefly text about it in jokes. the final straw was probably the fact that soobin actually got a date before either of you. so, with only three days to prom and a whole lot of spite, you and beomgyu hunted down matching corsages and sealed the deal.

you glance at the clock on the wall, ticking seven. sick of waiting on your bare feet, you lift the trailing end of your dress and make your way up to beomgyu’s room.

you don’t bother to knock, having seen the worst of beomgyu and his room already. the sight that greets you is anything but what you expect.

you expected heaps of clothes on the floor from his panicked frenzy of not knowing what to put on under his blazer; maybe some mismatched socks, and shoes tossed to every corner out of indecision. 

instead, you see beomgyu clad in a neat, black suit, with a navy blue dress shirt. his black hair, usually falling over his eyelashes, is tucked away to show off the face that many come to your classroom to see. just like how he was at eight, you know beomgyu is different; he’s delicate, never gruff, even when he picks you up from your doorstep with bedhead. 

beomgyu has always been pretty, but tonight, he’s charming. he’s handsome. just thinking it makes you want to regurgitate your words and flush them down the toilet. it brings upon this weird pit in your stomach that was never there when you were wiping your cheeto-dust fingers on beomgyu’s shirt as some petty form of teasing. that weird feeling you only got when someone cute walked your way, or someone flustered you to the point of developing a crush. you hope it’s nothing too serious.

“woah!” 

“what.” beomgyu deadpans, unamused by your exaggerated gasp. in reality, the pink on his cheeks already has you guessing that he’s shy. your beomgyu has always been one for compliments and sweet gestures, recalling how his eyes brightened every time your smaller hands patted his head when you were younger. 

“no need to get sassy, jeez,” you roll your eyes playfully, the smile on your face never leaving. “you look good. handsome.” 

“thanks,” he smiles sheepishly. it’s silent for a bit, until beomgyu says, “keep ‘em coming…”

“dipshit!” you smack his forearm. “you’ll hear more from everyone tonight, i bet.”

“i guess so,” he shrugs, looking at himself on the full-length mirror, trying to fold his necktie like the way his dad taught him. you move closer, your dress trailing behind you when you drop the sides in favor of helping beomgyu out with his tie. you’re so close; the kind of close you and beomgyu haven’t been ever before, except when you were ten and you fell off your bike, crashing onto him. 

you’re in front of him now, looping the fabric and not really looking at him. you can’t tell that he’s staring down at your concentrated face, smiling softly at how your tongue peeks out of your mouth in concentration. 

he hasn’t gotten the chance to compliment you back, but he’s noticed how beautiful you looked the minute you stepped into his room. his thoughts only get confirmed further now that you’re just a few breaths apart; your lip gloss has a sheen that’s tempting to swipe off with his own lips, and your eyelashes flutter in the way that beomgyu pictures in a few years time, where you’re waking up next to him every morning. 

“not from anyone that matters though.” 

your fingers stop working, peering up at your best friend. you don’t really know what to make of how his eyes glisten; how they look fondly at you, so you revert to the only thing you and beomgyu know will fix anything — fooling around, saying something stupid.

“are you saying if soobin complimented you, you wouldn’t give a fuck?”

“you make it sound like i’m in love with him.” you shrug, lips pursed as you continue the final touches of his tie. he bumps his forehead onto yours, making you curse. “what? bros can seek validation from one another!”

“so can i seek it from you, bro?”

you shake your head, amused by his unfamiliar use of the nickname. “whatever. are you done now?”

“no.” you groan. beomgyu pulls away from you first, going to his bedside drawer and fishing out a box. 

he come back to your side, this time, with the corsage you both overpaid for. beomgyu wraps it around your wrist and prompts you to turn your hand over, tying it up for you. you watch him intently.

unconsciously, your hands extend to caress his head, gently patting his styled hair. the moment your fingers graze his scalp, he freezes up for a few seconds before resuming, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in his chest.

“i forgot to say earlier,” beomgyu returns to his full height, but his hand is still holding yours. he squeezes three times with his dimples peeking out as he smiles, a semblance of a confession that you fail to pick up on. “you look beautiful tonight, too.”

2021

it’s nearly midnight when you and beomgyu decide that the best activity to do when both of you are jobless on a friday night (saturday morning now) is to dye each other’s hair. 

you left an hour ago for a random supermarket run, and you return with a bottle of bleach, developer and a bunch of dyes that were on sale. possibly also a whole new stock of instant ramen. tonight was one of the nights you’re relieved your best friend has a car.

you’re both twenty now, in college and far away from home for a while. still, home doesn’t feel too far away when beomgyu’s still waiting for you outside the girls’ dorm building with disheveled hair. from your freshman year to now, beomgyu’s still been the same beomgyu that you love. you can admit that to yourself now, finally catching the culprit of that odd feeling in your stomach from prom night. though you’re unsure when you can gather the courage to tell him all that.

you’re pushing the door open to beomgyu’s dorm room, seeing his roommate taehyun slipping his shoes on with a backpack.

“are you running away?” you question, half-joking. “beomgyu can’t be that bad of a roommate. he’s like a pet goldfish sometimes.” 

beomgyu’s shutting the door behind you when he walks into your odd conversation with taehyun. “that’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said about me.” 

“goldfish are so cute though!” you reason with him, your tone higher in pitch as your silly charade continues. taehyun’s joining along too, laughing at the banter between you and beomgyu. “did you know the guy who created goldfish crackers made them because his wife was a pisces?”

“i’m a pisces,” beomgyu proudly states, chest puffed out with the bags of your pointless mission weighing down his shoulders. “would you make me a fish-inspired snack, yn? answer carefully, our relationship depends on it.” 

you try to ignore the fact that he says relationship, not friendship. details, details. but beomgyu’s all about details. he didn’t say anything for just no reason, so you can’t help but let the thought fester. for now, you keep up with the jokes.

“you don’t even like seafood, gyu.” 

“okay kids,” taehyun interrupts, heading towards the door. “i’m going to the gym. don’t burn the place up, please…” 

“i think i’m gonna burn something else.” you snark, looking up at beomgyu’s perfectly smooth hair. he catches your stare and consciously guards his head. 

taehyun leaves in the next few minutes, and it’s just you and beomgyu again. 

beomgyu’s eyebrows wiggle comically, grabbing your shoulders and pushing you to the bathroom. “w-wait, wait!”

“what? backing out?” he challenges you, shaking you by the shoulders. “yn, you can’t!” his whining is convincing, but mostly because beomgyu has this pout that he doesn’t know you succumb to every single time he pulls it out — which is nearly everyday. 

“n-no..! just..”

beomgyu’s face softens. he takes your face between his right hand, squishing your cheeks repeatedly. he huffs mockingly, “fine, you can do mine first.”

in the next hour, beomgyu’s desk chair is situated between the bathroom door and the carpeted floor of the bedroom, holding it open to let the stench of the bleach disperse. you’re sitting on said chair with a towel on your lap, while beomgyu sits on the bathroom floor, legs folded to his chest. his back is leaning against the middle of the chair, but he’s essentially sitting between your legs as you clumsily paint bleach over random sections of his hair. 

“sorry if this turns to shit, beoms.” you snicker, layering more product on the strand between your fingers. you’re startled by beomgyu’s movements, his head tilting upwards slightly to look at you before looking back down. “you owe me free food for the rest of our lives if i end up looking like a dalmatian.”

“that’s fine,” you giggle, tapping his shoulder to motion for him to turn around and face you, trying to get the sections with his bangs. “at least i know we’ll be best friends forever.”

beomgyu fights the urge to say something stupid; something that might end the nights of you sleeping over and snuggling close to his chest — the things that pop up in his head range from “you’re so cute, i wanna kiss you.” to “i think i’ve been in love with you for years, so yeah, anyway.”

he still says something rather silly, but he thinks it’s just slightly less off-putting than telling your best friend who you grew up with that you’re in love with her. 

“technically, you’d be my sugar mommy.”

you raise a brow, “outing your mommy kink?”

“yes, and?”

fits of laughter fill the air, you have to place the brush back on the sink in case you smack beomgyu’s face from how you throw your whole body around when you laugh. he’s just the same, nearly snorting when he sees how red your face has become. 

at some point, you’re still trying to recover from giggling so hard, taking the brush back into your hands and picking out sections of beomgyu’s bangs. he chooses to perch his chin on one of your thighs with his head tilted up, as if admiring you deeply from the ground. beomgyu can ignore the prickly sensation settling on his scalp and the cold tiles of his bathroom floor freezing his butt off if he can see you from this view more often. it reminds him of when you used to let him rest his head on your lap that one time your families went on a road trip, and you both were stuck in the back. or the other times in his childhood bedroom where he’d fall asleep and wake up with your fingers tangled in his hair, head over a pillow on your lap. 

beomgyu thinks he fell for you then, that he’d decided that he’d kneel on the ground forever if you asked him to. he thinks he’d probably do much worse if the requests were coming from your pretty lips. 

you stop painting over his hair, signaling that beomgyu’s done. you think beomgyu’s going to get up from the floor, his legs crossed and obviously sleeping from how long you’ve had him sitting down there, but he’s still in-between your legs that it stops you from moving too. you’re about to joke around and tell him to get up, but you finally catch onto the fact that he’s looking up at you like he’s stargazing, or watching the prettiest sunset in the summer.

“gyu, what’s up?” 

it takes a while for him to respond. beomgyu feels his mind drifting to places he doesn’t know he’s allowed to be in; thinking about how he’s thought of waking up next to you since he was sixteen, and it might have sounded like trying to snatch the sun from the sky back then, but he feels an inkling that it’s not too impossible right now, at twenty, in his room and at your disposal. 

“do you remember when we went to prom together?”

you snort, reminded of your trembling hands when your parents asked you and beomgyu to take pictures and pose together, feeling his hand on your waist. “yeah, we looked pretty good.”

“yeah,” beomgyu draws circles and random patterns on your clothed thighs. “we did look pretty good together.”

“what?”

“what?”

“what did you say, gyu?” your voice comes out in a whisper, even when you try to be firm and persistent.

“you heard me,” he mumbles, finally looking away from you with the pink dusting his cheeks.

“no, i think i have to hear it again.” you tease, flicking his forehead to turn his attention back on you. “come on, say it.”

beomgyu bounces back, eyes trained on you as his lips move faster than any other time you’ve listened to him babble. he’s never even spoken this fast when he’s raging on his matches with soobin.

“jeez, yn, you wanna hear me say i’m in love with my best friend who i have also imagined living together with for the rest of my life?” 

he blinks, realizing what he just said. “well… i mean, you got it.”

you press your lips together, trying to hold in the laugh that was threatening to burst out on beomgyu’s deer-in-the-headlights face. you’d feel terrible if you ruined this moment for both of you, so you try and keep it to giggles and a pleased grin.

“you sure you wanna live with me for the rest of your life, beomie?” you tease, bending down and bringing your face close to his. you enjoy the feeling of making beomgyu shy, and you know his guilty pleasure is when you’re rendered flustered and defensive. 

“that’s all you got from what i said?” he pouts.

“aw, baby,” cooing at him. if his hair wasn’t slicked with bleach, you would have fluffed it and patted it the way he always liked. “d’you wanna start apartment hunting and writing down our kids’ names?”

he blinks up at you, briefly taking his phone out of his pocket and turning it over to show his notes app. “yeah, go ahead.” 

“beomgyu.” you stare at him, slightly bewildered and freaked out, but also endeared. 

“i’m just joking!” he puts his hands up defensively. 

he taps your thigh again once his arms let up. “...you still haven’t said anything.”

“if it wasn’t obvious enough, choi beomgyu,” you start, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “i’m also in love with you. and i would love to be by your side forever.” 

2024 

it’s almost been three years since the night beomgyu and you confessed to each other. 

everything seems to come full-circle, because you’re twenty three and sitting on beomgyu’s lap while playing mario kart. you have vivid memories of being eight years old and telling beomgyu off for not going easy on a first-timer, but you’ve had years and years of payback for that moment by now.

beomgyu doesn’t need to go easy on you anymore, occasionally yelling in your ear when you sabotage him, only to trail kisses from your earlobe to your neck as an apology. 

as you finish up your last game as promised, you turn your head and press a chaste kiss on beomgyu’s cheek. sometimes, you still can’t believe your best friend has graduated from being just that, to being your boyfriend. beomgyu chases after your face as soon as you detach from him, his lips quickly pecking yours.

it took a while until you and beomgyu could live together, only finding a place you could both attest to earlier this year. but since then, you’ve made plenty of memories in every nook and cranny. 

you keep old habits like mario kart, and beomgyu purposely makes mistakes with his necktie just so you can tug on it, kiss him and fix it instead. but your life with beomgyu has new bits and pieces that flourished since sharing your love for one another. your shared baths that consist of gossip that beomgyu is overly enthusiastic of; taking selfies every night when you put on sheet masks for each other; and instead of picking you up with bedhead, you have the privilege of seeing beomgyu in a dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up, picking you up from work and waiting for you to fill the passenger seat of his car.

it makes you think not only about all the lovely moments you’ve had with beomgyu, but the ugly parts that only you both know of each other. 

“i really hope this is a forever thing, gyu.” you blurt out. 

“playing mario kart with me?” beomgyu knows what you mean; he can tell you’re floating in your head when you ask him. still, he lightens the mood.

“yeah,” you chuckle. you suppose he isn’t wrong, you wouldn’t mind this at all. 

“baby,” he tucks a hair behind your ear. “look at me, hm?”

“i love you today,” beomgyu kisses your lips, moves to either side of your cheeks. “i love you tomorrow,” now he’s pressing one on your nose. “the day after,” the last one on your forehead. “until we’re old and wrinkly, i love you.”

your smile in the midst of all his kisses is as wide as it was when you first met beomgyu. you cradle his face, rubbing your thumb over his cheekbones then bumping your noses together briefly. it makes beomgyu laugh, the sound still as pretty as when he stumbled over his words trying to confess to you. “there’s no one else i would have fallen in love with other than you, gyu,”

“my best friend in the world.”

[biancasaidstfu]

Hi,

First off, thank you for posting my post. Organized Anon. I never thought people would care what I had to write, just had to get that off my chest and I love a good list lol. I guess, I have more so here is part 2. Lol

Today will be the Wild West west for Lukolas. I see people sending in post that are all over the place.

I myself am not a lukola -per se. I love Nic and Luke. I would love if they dated. But I like to remain neutral. I find it is the best for me. For me.

I am seeing posts saying Nic and Luke are beefing bc he did not post for her bday and she has not liked her post. My advice is to not engage with people who think Nic is dating Jake. It is a waste of time. You could have ET standing next to you saying aliens are real and they still will not believe you. It doesn’t matter about posts talking about the meaning of sweet one, they will not listen. The only thing to prove a jakola wrong is to let them use their brain. Trust me, if you ask question that requires thinking, in a respectful way, they will not know how to respond or what to do.

again, saying Nic is with JD bc she went to his premiere is childish. Saying she is mad with Luke and she has been showing JD off since Luke went to Rome is childish. Saying there is beef between them is childish. yes, I am even calling so called Lukolas on this site out who are agreeing with things.

there is nothing we can say to prove or show. But again, ask yourself those key questions.. if she is dating Jake and they have been out an about all this time, why not just post or tag that is who she was with in her photo. Nic has a brain and smart. We know they went to the WT movie together and we know they spend time together so why not post or tag him- and she might later do this- but why be public with JD on certain days and private with him on other days- makes no sense. No logical sense. People already think they date, so why hide him on the bday post. -Because his is most likely isnt dating him. This is just from rational thinking.

again, think rationally. Why would two adults- who play a beloved fan favorite of Polin be beefing and put in on SM for the world to think so. It’s bad for the product. Look at the Amazon show, culpa tuya. The leads are apparently beefing and yea people are talking but Polin is a different type of love story. Shonda would not let dirty laundry out so stop with the beefing theory. People sound like children. And these are grown adult women. Stop thinking that people are vindictive and want to manipulate others. Go seek therapy and figure out why toxicity is a driving force in your life. If Nic was beefing, why is Luke all over her end of year dump. His photo is on the back of her phone. At the least, they are besties.

now the million dollar question- why did he post for Claudia Bday and not Nic. There are only two possible reasons. A. JD is her man and he did not want to take away from JD on her special day. OR B. Luke is her man or her and Luke are getting close and decided to make it private - no attention. I believe the latter based on rational clues. Extra extra eyes were on them this year. Commenting on her SAG post was loud but not posting is louder. Personal stays private.

Could I be wrong yes- lol. But I’ll leave with this. If Nic is dating JD, you will have people saying she trolled the fandom. And if you are being honest, it can be seen that way. Posting and not posting jd. Jd trolling as well, saying things like people want me to marry Luke , doing that audiobook. It’s just too much. And she will get push back and fans will leave. I don’t care how nice people think JD is, he is not worth losing fans for. But let’s not think on this. We will cross that bridge, when or a big big big big if we need too. thanks!!!

.

[i-used-to-be-a-spy]

New Autistic Michael Westen Master Post

A) Special Interest

Michael's fixation on being a spy and getting his job back is def in special interest territory bc he values it A LOT. In the books, it's mentioned he blew stuff up just for fun as a kid to experiment and to get attention from his parents so spy shenanigans has always been an interest of his

B) Justice is something Michael feels very strongly about. He doesn't hesitate to help the little guy or families or anybody else who needs his help even tho he'll complain when it isnt convenient (which reminds me of Entrapta, a canon autistic character on a show, who gets annoyed when interrupted from her special interest inventing). Even when injured, he'll still help people. Michael wants to feel like he's a part of good in the world, helping right wrongs

C) Michael and relationships

He struggles maintaining deep relationships and doesn't always understand what people want from him. This is partly due to him struggling with processing his own emotions like for example his desire to be with Fi versus his desire to not see her harmed by being close to him.

He has a lot of miscommunications with his family over the years (not necessarily all his fault) and he doesn't know how to bridge the gap at first. Like how Maddie was mad at him for not reaching out on her bday but turns out he was in a hospital and it simply didn't occur to him to explain that

A great example of Michael not realizing how much he means to his friends is when he so readily believes they have abandoned him when Larry made it seem like they had to manipulate him.

D) Not understanding social norms and social queues or hierarchy

This is part of his problem up above but it deserves it's own section. A great example is when Sam asks for advice about marrying the love of his life and Michael says yes and then no and is just exasperated by what Sam wants from him

Michael simply doesn't give a shit about social hierarchies and will go straight through them to get shit done like when he talks back to the frickin head of the CIA in season 7

E) Most likely as a survival tactic growing up in an abusive household, Michael's ability to Mask and appear neurotypical while Undercover is a great example. He knows the human mind well and his friends are always shocked by how he's able to read strangers well but not his close friends and family. Michael is able to imitate people he's around well at least for the job

F) Repetitive behaviors & Sensory issues

Michael has at least two safe foods: yogurt and tuna tahini. We also know he likes spicy foods that have been mentioned throughout the show so he's likely a sensory seeking autistic.

He also really liked a deep pressure massage he got during a cover cause the bad guy had paid for the hour. Many autistics respond well to deep pressure even when they don't like light touch (Michael often seems touch averse outside of Fiona) which part of that is from being a spy but I think it's not liking unexpected touch (I myself like people to ask first then I like touch!)

There is another reason Michael may always wear sunglasses: autistics are more likely to have light sensitive eyes so the sun could be painful for him. He also has his fav particular glasses he wears which is part of his routine

G) Personality

Michael has a pretty stoic personality. He doesn't tend to have huge macro facial expressions when not undercover. It's the smaller smiles or tightening muscles around his eyes or a single raised eyebrow or throwing his head back that says how he's feeling. He also tends to not laugh loudly or out loud except for rare occasions. His humor is dry and sarcastic like many autistics

H) Demisexual

I do see Michael as existing on the asexual spectrum. He describes his attraction to Fi and also how he's never felt that way with anyone else in both the show and books. Demisexuals experience sexual attraction after forming a bond with people and I think that describes Michael well. He literally has hot women flirting with him all the time, especially villains, and he doesn't bat an eye or get tempted bc he's simply not into them.

And even tho he is attracted to Fi, he isn't always immediately as into sex as she always is like when she jumps his bones when he comes home from missions in season 5 look at his face as he tries to convince her to stop. Altho he gets into it eventually 😉

Many autistics are ace altho not every autistic is!

I) overwhelmed episodes

Michael tends to not process his emotions until something really big happens that pushes him over the edge like when he considers shooting himself after Victor is killed bc solving his burn notice seems impossible or when he finally has to process that Fi is gone

J) Smarts

Many autistics are gifted in a specific area and I do think Michael's tactical mind comes from his autism

Have a photo of Michael's smile after Sam compliments his brains :)

The End

Thanks for reading 😁

[fratsweetie]

SPOKE TOO SOON......got really scared about wwiii and then got in a tiffy with my bf (i fucked something up and he asked if he could be alone for the night :/ kms :/)

finally smoked the right amount of weed (filled with so much love and gratitude for everyone i have ever met that i could cry)

[autisticlee]

every year I get angry? depressed? some sort of bad feeling???? around my birthday. and not just because im getting older and still have done nothing with my life...

I dont have friends. we all know that already. but I never truly did. I never had a birthday party with friends. only seen every kid around me have them and most adults too tbh. every year since i was like 10 probably, I try to convince people I know irl to at least pretend to be my friends and do something with me. no one will. the excuse used to be "im busy because it's close to Christmas" but now just everyone straight up ignores me more than anything. guess they got tired of making up excuses? (maybe it's true though and i'm overthinking that people couldn't possibly be busy days after Christmas for 20 years in a row...)

every year my birthday has been trash. I had little baby family parties until I was I think 5. and I only remember one of these parties. the last one. I only remember being really sick, sleeping through the party, and waking up to everyone being gone. I was very upset. wanted a redo my whole childhood. but my sister was born the next year and she got the parties instead of me now. (parents could only afford one and mine was too close to Christmas so it was "too hard")

I was determined to make up for only having one party I remembered that went bad. so when I turned 10 or 11 or 12 (forget east year) I invited school friends and classmates to my party. had my parents make food and a cake and buy decorations and set it all up. then we waited. for hours. my dad made me call everyone I had phone numbers for. their parents all said they weren't home. but they never showed up at my party! not a single person did! then when we went back to school, they all laughed and made fun of me because they hung out together and skipped my party 🫠

after years of failing irl, I started trying to do twitch streams and coop games with online friends. had a few people here and there do a game with me. but it was never a large turnout to do games I really wanted, and the 1 or 2 times I got 1 or 2 people werent the most fun. (like a few years ago trying to do a silly game and getting yelled at by the 2 playing with me for goofing around and being unserious,,,,when I told them beforehand I wanted to goof around and laugh and be unserious!!!!)

but playing games still isnt the same as having a birthday party where you are celebrated and get to do what you want with people who want to be there for you and have a good time or whatever you do for those idk.

Last year I bought plane tickets for a friend I met online to visit for about a month as a birthday gift to myself. everything that could have gone wrong did basically though. 🙃 her flight experience was a nightmare (delays making her nearly a day late. lost luggage. many tears. etc.) the day she got here I started getting sick. we planned to go to a con for my birthday weekend. she had us drive 2 hours meet up with her other friends so they can see her. she invited her other friend to come here at my house and stay for Christmas week to visit her and go to the con with us. my parents didn't like this sudden other person staying. they threw a fit at me the whole time. she got another friend to come to the con. I ended up getting everyone sick. when we got to the hotel for the con, I was so sick that I had to stay in the hotel and missed the con. we were supposed to drive the 3rd person home like 8 hours away and stay there for a night, but we were too sick so they ended up staying at my house too until they could take a train home like 5 days later. my family was extra angry at me for that. but it wasn't my fault or plan!

now i'm not allowed to have any friend visit amd stay again. they have to stay at a hotel (no one can afford that) so I guess it will never happen again. none of these people really talk to me anymore after this happened :/

basically that was supposed to be my bday thing to make up for all my lost and shitty birthdays before this by having my friend visit and going to a con and having a little hotel bday party. but ended up being more for my friend to see all her friends and no one caring about my bday and then I got really sick and everyone else sick and they were all mad at me for it and for other things (i ended up most sick though and was sick for almost 5 months, dislocated a rib or 2 from coughing so hard, and seem to have either developed or got worsened POTS symptoms that never got better ugh) and my family was yelling at me about everything the whole time and for months after. I didn't make up for anything. instead I had the worst birthday yet!!!!!! because I can never have anything nice!!!

this year im throwing myself a surprise birthday party. by that mean actually logged onto facebook and figured out how to make an event and invited everyone on there. the surprise would be if anyone comes. but looks like it won't be a surprise party after all, since no one is coming :(

just talked family into going out to dinner at the very least. but they're also very sick and might not make it anyway. so might just be only me in the end (maybe my mom tho since my bday is finally not on a work day)

I appreciate family agreeing to it at least. but i'd still like to experience a (successful) birthday outing/celebration/party with friends like most other people get to experience at least once in their lives, where I have one day where it's all about me (since every other day of the year I do not want to be perceived at all lmao and never ask for anything or try to "get my way" if that makes sense) but looks like the universe bans me from having nice things for some reason :((

today/tomorrow i'm trying to have people play games online with me. that never works out but it's my backup for my friendless birthday dinner. I know I won't get to play the games I want to most. I never get to. i'll be surprised if I can get someone to play something with me D:

starting to think I should completely give up trying to have one day of the year that's mine. couldn't have it as a kid (where I remembered it, since i'm sure when I turned 2 or 3 it was a very me centric day) and I definitely can't seem to have it as am adult when everyone tells me adults don't get to have nice things like friends anymore :/ sighs what's the point of life when no one cares about you even once a year on the anniversary of your existence 😭

I hate having a birthday. why does it exist. it's here to mock and make fun of me. birthdays are fpr people with friends and money and a life purpose and life and a life worth celebrating and all that stuff I don't have 🥲 the "do it for my birthday" excuse has never worked for me. so why do I even try!!!!!!

[taserblade]

went to a hockey game with a friend (who will now be known as mist) today for her bday!!

it was my first hockey game since elementary school, and i honestly had so much fun!! i dont rlly know anything ab hockey, but it seems pretty straight forward. could be how many times ive read the foxhole court. exy is literally a fake sport, but it seems kinda like hockey. maybe its time for a reread.

MAJOR TANGENT!!

omg, talkin ab the foxhole court, god i love that series. i have a music playlist for that series. dude my TRUCK is literally named neil (the main character). i remember reading that book at softball tournaments, praying that my college team would even be a tiny bit like those books. i set myself up. i dont wanna talk ab this anymore.

BACK TO ORIGINAL STORY!!

anyways, all i could think ab the entire time tho were all those smut books ab hockey players (im not immune to the propaganda).

we got margs after the first period, and two were $45?? actual theft. got me decently tipsy, but i have the worlds lowest tolerance so it doesnt take much.

team ended up losing the game, and they played like ass (according to mist, again, i dont know shit ab hockey) so it was kinda a shit bday game for mist :-((

afterwards, we went to a bar n got some drinks while we waited for uber prices to drop. had another wonderful drink, n then hot manager texted us!! he said we arent allowed to go to anymore games, which funnily enough, when me n my sister were younger, we convinced ourselves that if we watched the cowboys they would lose. anyways, it reminded me of that. we joked ab his bday (which i think i know what im getting him now teehee), n then asked for a ride bc uber prices were so fucking high. he was honestly willing to come get us which was so fucking sweet, i love him fr. n then he joked ab me finally getting to go to a sports game this week, and yeah no he isnt wrong. i was happy bf wasnt invited this time.

he told me not to drive home, but bf texted n said he went out drinking with john cena. so i just ended up driving to the bar they were at, n leavin neil there. john cena n a bunch of other friends were there so i ended up havin more drinks :-))

then, omg so fucking weird, this random girl came n sat down with us n said it was her bday n asked us to sing for her?? we did bc we were drunk n why not, n she hung around talkin. after last call we decided to go to waffle house, which i was super excited for bc i had never been. random girl wanted to come so john cena gave her a ride. we all ate, which omg, waffle house is so good. maybe it was bc i was drunk, but the hash browns were actually crispy?? gas. after we ate, john cena offered to give random girl a ride to a homeless shelter.

anyways, that was my night!! very fun, very good time :-))

and dnd session tomorrow at 12!! gotta figure out what food to get.

[r08s]

i asked my friend of aprox 10 years to hang out. it was 11:37 when i send her the message. she was online multiple times on instagram yet nothing. i texted a “?” at 1:20. same thing: active on ig but no reply to me. finally at 4 she responds.

we meet up and i feel just…empty? i know this sounds edgy but for example if i saw her last summer, i would have been so happy and excited and i wouldn’t stop talking. but this time i just looked at her and i wanted to leave, even tho i was the one who invited her… i felt so so numb, she also pointed out my strange behavior but she didnt ask if it was because of her.

honestly the whole day 4 hours spend together seemed like im hanging out with someone who secretly hates me. she didnt say any rude remarks but everything was just odd and i almost passed out at one moment (perhaps this was also because i slept only 5 hours)

we kinda gossiped and talked about guys, we always do this, however it felt so draining? actually i dont think this is the correct word, maybe awkward? we cracked some jokes but i was really forcing myself to smile and laugh, she defo noticed this. i was also just spacing out a couple of times

when we said goodbye, i didnt feel sad as i usually do when we separate. but this time i was just done, relieved and exhausted. and also screw the uber driver who tried to make a conversation with me about stupid teslas

i now really think we’re drifting apart. we had the previous week free and we didnt get to hang out at all… the active on ig and no reply thing happened then too…despite this, she did hang out with two other girls. awesome.

i feel so lonely. ever since i was little i thought that i would grow up in this cool teenager with a huge friend group yet here i am, crying for the 38295th time in the bathroom. i really just want someone i could talk to. someone who replies to me all the time. someone who appreciates me. someone with who i would never be awkward or uncomfortable with. someone who wouldn’t judge me. someone who would jump off a bridge if i also jumped. someone who i’d consider my best friend. someone who’d consider me their best friend. maybe i already met this person and maybe im the problem because of my stupid anxiety and my stupid undiagnosed depression and my stupid attachment issues and my stupid self as a whole.

today i had planned to tell my friend about some of the thing mentioned here but i guess i couldn’t bring myself to do it. she really asked me if something is wrong but i just shut her down.

maybe i will tell her next time. but how? or maybe the real question is when? i mean, ive been the one who mostly began the convos. i really am going to wait for her to just say something.

(today is saturday) not the upcoming week, but the next one it will be my birthday (im celebrating it by visiting paris so it will be no actual party with friends, just family). but i do wonder what she is gonna do then. like, just a hbd text or something more? tbh that “something more” could be even a bday card, i’d be really happy for one. i dont wanna sound selfish but i truly think i deserve something from a friend i’ve known for a whole decade, a friend who i love(d?) so much, i even bought her a gucci perfume so yeah i do deserve something a bit bigger than a one-minute happy bday text. again, it doesnt need to be extravagant, just something to show if she really cares about me, about our friendship. even my classmates, who ive known for only 6 months, are going to make me a surprise.

or maybe im just miserable and lonely. perhaps i shouldnt be spending my bday in paris but rather in a therapy session.

also i need to buy a new mascara since my maybelline sky high has been kind of dry. also as i said, rn im crying and yet the mascara isnt running down my face in the dramatic way as it should be..

[tearstoshed4ever]

and the good news is i now have a surrgate mother to

"your mother's right, you know? We all will meet again in heaven." Lydia said softly.

(sorry didn't see that last one.)

yes she is

" you do? Who is she?" Henry be asked curiously.

but hopefully u wont get there for a long time lyds

emily bit her lip not knowing how to expin

"Well...you see...she's a spider. Her name is Widow." Emily began. She didn't know anything else to say but the truth

she bared herself for his reacton

"oh. A um...spider. how extraordinary," Henry said, wondering if his daughter had gone mad. But Lydia knew better. "So, you can talk to talk to animals now, Emmy? Because you're um.." "Dead, yes. I can talk to all creatures now. It's one of the perks I guess, hehe." Emily laughed nervously

she knew lyda would understand

and my father is a maggot who lives in my head

she said awardly

"outrageous! Tell him to get out!" Henry gasped, not liking the thought of a maggot living in his daughter. "No, it's okay Papa. I like him there. I know he's always with me." Emily explained

in fact i love him as much as u

theyve both helped me so much

"I'm so glad, Emily. You must thank them for me. Tell them to keep up the good work." Henry smiled

i will she smiled back

she wished he could meet them but knew it would be a bad idea

Jul 16, 2021 6:27 PM

Maggot would ruin whatever confidence her father had in her care. She had to give Henry some sort of relief

yes

widow would be far more resopvite

but a taking spider might break his brain

So, she left meeting her guardians out of it, hoping that talking about them in a good light would ease her father's mind

as well as hoping there feelings wouldnt be hurt again when they found out

Yes, balancing her guardians was always difficult

yes

she still felt guitly about earler

and still found herself missing her mother

Jul 16, 2021 11:51 PM

"Soon," she told herself. "One day soon we'll all be together."

and as she thought this she felt soft lips press down on the crown of her head

"Mother..." Emily smiled, feeling warmth for the first time in a year

Yes darling id never miss your bday

came emilys gentle vocie

Jul 17, 2021 9:00 PM

hi

Jul 18, 2021 11:27 PM

(hi. Sorry I was very busy yesterday) "Oh, mother. I'm so glad you're here." Emily beamed, trying not to cry

Jul 19, 2021 11:56 AM

emily appered and drew her daugt into her arms

just let it out sweetheart

she cronned stroking her hair

"Emily? Emily what's wrong? What's happening? Have you left us?" Henry asked, struck that his daughter no longer spoke with them but he could hear her crying

its momma shes here emily sobbed

E-Emily? My Emily!?" Henry stammered. "Where? Please, my love! show yourself! I've missed you so!"

plz momma go to him hes sufferd so much he cant see me cause im all blue and rotting but u still look normel

emily begged

Jul 19, 2021 9:45 PM

"He'll see us both. In spirit, you are still yourself, Emily. Young and beautiful." Her mother said and Emily felt a warm floating feeling as her spirit lifted from her body and out of the grave. She appeared with her mother, shining specters in front of Henry and Lydia.

she hoped agaist hope that she could still toch and feel in this from

She would soon find out. Before she knew it, Henry rushed towards them. "My...my Emily! My darling girls!" Henry sobbed, embracing them. Luckily his arms didn't go straight through them. They were cold and not exactly solid, but still it was a hug.

emily burst into tears and clug to him like a baby

oh daddy i never thought id see u again

she sobbed

for a moment she was actally gratful that she wasnt in her body cause she was sure all her tears would mak her eye pop out

but on the other hand she felt guitly for hiding behind another mask

shed already been wearing one for a year

while shed been self couse at first she now wanted him to see and embrace the real her

daddy this isnt what i look like anymore

she sniffled

i want u to see the real me

momma put me back in my body

Jul 20, 2021 12:41 AM

hi

hi! Sorry I was working on some of my own writing.

"If that's what you want, my darling." Her mother said. with a thought, the magic was gone, placing Emily's soul back into her body and showing Henry and Lydia what she truly looked like. They both gasped at the sight, but they were not afraid.

this is what that bastred did to me

"Oh Emily..." Seeing it all made Henry sick with anger and sadness. " My poor girl!"

she rn back into his arms again

this time the hug was toally solid

though still cold

She couldn't feel him either, now that her mother's blessing was removed

she began to to cry in frutern and willed herself to feel him

plz i realy need this im never gonna see him again after this till i cross over

she whimpered

Just then, she could almost feel it, the feeling coming in weakly

encournred she forsced

hard

"I...I can feel you. Daddy! I can really hug you now!" Emily beamed, feeling warmth surrounding her.

she hugged him as hard as she and buried her face in his shoulder weeping with joy

"Wonderful, my dear. I'm so glad. How I've longed to comfort you," Henry sobbed, holding his little girl in his arms again.

momma lyds get over here

emily saied holding out her other arm

Lydia and Emily's mother rushed over, joining the group hug

neastled in the warm cirle of her familys arms for the final time

It was the best birthday present he could ever ask for

*she

yes

the end

[s-t-s-g-art]

I'm a little late, but happy birthday/Halloween to these buds!

[sanqyeonn]

hi sorry i didnt have a spam for changmin too :((

[sejmisland]

im back. and with more wesker sibling hcs

- alex didnt get into frans kafka on her own. wesker got her some poetry on her bday because he had NO IDEA what to get her bc he had no idea appearance wise, all he really knew she definitely liked was poetry and this franz kafka thing seemwd interesting. sure lets get her that!

- you know the SENSE something is wrong with the other? they have that. alex could cough once and be halfway across the globe and wesker just stops like. ‘smthn is wrong… Hmmmm’ and vice versa. yknow when wesker died in that volcano? alex knew. she had to take a day off work because it was so bad.

- so when they were together and alex visibly was not well wesker made her sit down to take a break. taking breaks are vital when you’re working and he only did this for her. sometimes alex gets too focused and despite her health she’d keep going. wesker followed her around with a chair to annoy her into sitting. lightly pushes it into her and her knees buckle so she falls into it.

- when wesker was in stars alex did her best to visit and typically this was after hours so the team never saw her. now, there have been a few times she has fallen asleep at his desk typically arms folded underneath her head and head resting on them. she could be rambling about what is going on, what’s annoying her, really anything as he works (and she knows he is listening because of his glances or his responses, she knows he isnt ignoring her) and then she’ll drift into quiet. wesker never realizes it until he looks up because she didnt sound THAT tired. yep she’s asleep

- i hc alex wanted to write her own poetry book so she’d send wesker any drafts or works to review as his opinion meant the most to her. anyone else can fuck off she doesnt care and he’d send em back with his own critique or review.

- in her letters she only puts ‘:)’ with him. it seems jarring to see but now wesker draws a little ‘B)’ when he signs stuff to her. literally no one knows they do this. alex started this shit and wesker hates it.

[serendipity-flow]

Why Jikook is suspicious

So, i was watching some reaction videos of jikook moments and I agree when some people say "they look really close friends".

If you look only at stage performances, basic back stage interaction without any context they look extremely friendly. Before I go on, I wanna highlight some stuff

I dont know if they are ACTUALLY a couple, but obviously they have a different kind of connection

I consider Jimin a thoughtful friend, who wanna be there for all his friends. Like... Extremely caring. Really.

Jimin is flirty. He loves to flirt and this is obvious

I dont consider some stage interactions, like the end of Stay Gold cause they always, always look at each other, wich makes me thinks that its part of their performance.

I dont belive in fan service within BTS members. I belive they actually love and care for each other and dont have a problem showing it.

I consider this moment extremely honest.

But, getting back.

We can see all of them engaging in skinship. Being flirty, touchy and honest caring through others members.

But what i found it weird... Members reaction:

Theres a lot of videos ok RM changing the subject as they get too intimate during interviews, J-Hope gently pushing Jungkook away from Jimin in events or backstage, Tae getting in the middle of them or saying clearly with gesture "split up". When you see a Jikook moment, look for members reaction. Theres a lot of times that RM pulls a tired expression, that J-Hope start giggling, Yoongi looks uncomfortable and mostly Jin just look like "here we go again..."

Some fans says that Jikook arent that close. If they arent close (which i think its a absurd to say), why BTS get so worried when Jikook are Jikooking? Even if they are not at a concert or a live, if theres cameras, someone will at least LOOK weird at them until they stop what they are doing.

A key moment for me it was on that ALMOST KISS we saw last year. J-Hope says in the moment "can I have the camera please?", so we cant see what happend after Jimin bends down at JK.

Up until now, I haven't seen any reactions like that with other "couples/shipps". Theres a "dont do it on camera" vibe going on.

Oh course, theres a lot of clear support as well. J-Hope especially. Isnt always that they stop ou separate them, but it happens.

The level of intimacy

As I said before, they're all intimate to each other. Thats beautiful and I love it. BUT... Some skinship in Jikook are a little bit... To comfort?

When we look at Rose Bowl, we can see that Jimin dosent pulls him away, nothing changes, besides que starts laughing or crying after Kookie does something in his ear. This is casual. Extemely casual.

Theres another moment when they hold hands at the ending of a concert. Ok, nothing wrong about that BUT Kookie thouches his arm firts, then goes to Jimins hand. Guys... Thats casual. Holding hands is something that they PROBABLY do pretty often, cause when we see Jikook doing, looks extremaly casual even with more touch/in a romantic way.

Jimin doesn't feels weird about jumping on Kookies back, and when Jimin speaking to him, on his back, in JKs ear or neck, we dont see strong reactions. Probably, Jimin does that a lot.

I could go on and on about every single "type" of skinship they do, but I guess you understand: its pretty obvious to me that they are extremely intimate and COMFORTABLE when it comes to showing affection. Like its done everyday. So casual as they seeing "it was 4 in the morning, I was with JK", "we went to bed after 5 in the morning, JM was playing on his phone", "should I set the my alarm?"- when Jimin said on Hobi birthday live that he wouldn't wake up next morning.

Context

Its impossible not to bring GCF in Tokyo here. Like COME ONNN

Jungkook paid as a gift for Jimin Bday

Once Jimin said that if he had some spare time, he would spend with JK

They sleept in the same room and a lot of people says there was only one bed.

The whole video its Jimin being himself -he doesn't knew that JK was posting it

The f* lyrics and the singer being a gay icon when JK always look the lyrics and cares about the meaning of a song before using it

Looks a lot like a lovers video.

I mean... COME ONNNNN

Besides GCF, we have other moments that seems, I said SEEMS, that cant be explaining with friendship.. Like when JK almost faint at a concert in Chile, and we see JM running like a crazy through the backstage, not saying hi to the cameras, not answering to Hobi that calls for him. He was desperate. After, we see everyone in the room with JK receving treatment, JM was already there, and when RM says that they should get out, JM is the only one who stayed and the medical team was undressing JK. We can say that JM is caring, but I haven't seem this behavior with his other friends.

Other point on different behavior is that JK don't share his clothes. But we already seen Jimin using his hoodies, jacket and t-shirt. JK is able to wake JM when RM doesn't even try anymore.

ANYWAYS

Its all just thoughts, speculation and stuff that are stuck in my head. Im not saying that they ARE A COUPLE, but its obvious for me that there's something more to it. And just so we can ens this TEDTALK, i love them both so much as persons and artist. They are amazingly pros.

[depressedacadamia]

Make a wish

Paring: Solangelo 

Summary:  Will Solace is celebrating his 17th birthday, he just wishes his boyfriend was there to do it with him.

A/N:  lakjsljgklj: So I SWEAR i will finish wrtiters month, things are just really hectic because the holiday is ending for me soon and I'll be a student once again meaning I'll revert back to my schedule of posting weekly :( That said HAPPY BDAY TO WILL, a character that isnt seen and referenced as much as they should. Absoloute dumb smart person icon and thanks to @solangeloweek. sit back, relx and enjoy Will solace's bday week! <3 from Persephone!

Read on A03      Masterlist

“Happy birrthhdaaayyyy dear Williammm,” the Apollo cabin sang in a - honestly not very- harmonious tune. He cringed as he heard his full name being belted loudly throughout the entire cabin. He was finally 17. He had survived 17 years of life as a demigod and here he was celebrating them with his entire family; everyone who he would ever want on his birthday.

Except for one.

Nico Di Angelo- his boyfriend of 2 years and who was one year his junior- was not in attendance for Will’s birthday party. He had expected as such; afterall, he had been on an important quest for the past 2 weeks and his return was not expected soon.

Nico had brought this up before he left for the quest, telling Will of his worries that he would not be able to witness or be present for his birthday and at the time, Will had seen how desperately this quest needed his boyfriend and so selflessly, without hesitation, he comforted Nico and told him that it didn’t matter.

But now, as the moment was passing, he couldn't help but feel that he was lying. He was so pathetically wrong because deep down, it did matter and what was worse was that Will was almost definite that Nico also knew this.

Alas, he could not dwell on who wasn't here and instead he turned back to his cabin and blew out the candles, masking his face with the graceful smile that he so often forced upon his face, to the point where it had become a second nature.

“Make a wish Will!”

He nodded and smiled and perhaps, perhaps if anybody were to inspect Will’s smile any closer, they'd notice his eyes only creased in an attempt to hide the tears and that his smiling mouth was actually a painful grimace as he closed his eyes and wished for the one person whom he wanted most in the world.

The lights went out, in an epic flutter before the smoke, whilst invisible, made its mark through its tinge in the air, contaminating it ever so slightly. However, to Will- whose eyes were already weltering up with tears- the gentle tinge was all he needed for tears to start rolling down his cheeks.

He couldn't help but attempt to hide his face- he was 17 for goodness sake it was his birthday party! He couldn't cry now, not on a day when he was supposed to be so happy and most definitely over such a pathetically petty reason such as ‘my boyfriend isn't here’.

But no matter what, as the darkness set over him and all the other campers within the cabin, Will couldn't help but feel his mind overwork himself. If Nico was here right now, would they be by the lake? Would he be opening his gift from him? What would Nivo have got him?

He was so wrapt up within his own thoughts that he barely noticed the soft glow emanating from his own skin- it was gentle and solitary- the glow only appeared in one place- the left side of his chest; right over his stylised sun tattoo and more importantly, his heart. The glow seemed to pulse with his heartbeat, slow, steady- and the absolute tune of sadness itself.

Sadness is not fast, is not beautiful nor poetic as poets love to fantasise. It’s harsh like the wind against you as you grip your clothes and its unpredictable like the weather; it can cloud over the sunniest day and it’s sad moans echo through the howls of thunder. Sadness is not the absence of happiness nor is it the direct opposite but it’s like an addiction, it’s not a single emotion but a clamour of the worst- anger, depression, frustration, emptiness.

So when Will’s sad heart beat glowed with every sad beat, it was almost as if he was singing the melancholy melody within the cabin itself. Everyone was aware that Will missed Nico but to see one of their siblings- the one whom the most amount of responsibility was placed one, from such a young age nonetheless- made them all the more eager for the surprise they had in the dark.

“Sunshine?” A soft, slightly concerned voice from out of the darkness whispered. Nico had only seen Will’s heart glow once in his entire life - and that was when…

Tear stained and grieving, Will turned around to find the source of the familiar voice.The lights weren't on, but somehow the candles beside them on the cake were and in the softly illuminated room, Will could clearly see the slightly concerned, slightly smirking and 100% beautiful face of his boyfriend.

Will paused and rubbed his eyes; he wasn't so sad that he was seeing things, right?

“No, I’m not a figment of your imagination, Solace,” Nico clicked his tongue. His hands raised up to hand Will a present. “Happy birthday, sun boy.”

“Ni-co?” Will slightly hiccuped as he attempted to hide his tears, afterall- he looked kinda ridiculous now that NBico actually was here the entire time.

“You missed me that much?” Nico tilted his head, “ Maybe I should make surprise appearances more often.”

“I thought you were on a quest, trying to not die, forgetting the fact that it was my birthday.”

“I don't think you can put those last two facts under the same category as if your birthday and me not dying are even on the same level.”

“Obviously.” Will sighed as he rested his hand against Nico’s cheek. “My birthday is of the utmost importance.”

Nico rolled his eyes and gave Will the benefit of the doubt, knowing that only moments ago, Will was seconds from being so heartbroken he would have collapsed. He went on his tip toes and gave him a brief peck on the cheek as he slipped the gift into Will’s hands.

“Happy birthday Sun boy,” Nico murmured against his ear as he watched Will- his smile glowing- hastily unwrap his gift.

[nikrangdan]

photographer!ni-ki

pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you

for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!

———

“y/n!”

you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am

it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..

you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes

“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands

right

u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki

shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!

WELP

u dont even have a choice anymore

u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms

shes so soft and fluffy

though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house

you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction

so

the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house

and it was actually a really pretty park...

there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches

and a nice open field of greenery

it basically looked like a park out of a movie

so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there

but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people

you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash

let the walking begin!!!!

it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold

you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her

whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was

it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake

you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery

until u caught sight of a boy

u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder

he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot

he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it

it was a beautiful sight honestly

there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes

u understood why he’d take pictures of it

you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki

basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again

OH BOY U WERE WRONG

the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park

you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner

the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below

this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos

and you noticed the same boy again

this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands

his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken

‘oh its him again’ u thought

and that was it

LOL

u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki

so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again

you wanted to take suki on a quick walk

but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought

suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone

it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park

the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already

it was super pretty and the weather was nice

after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around

and u saw Him again

wow

why do u keep seeing him !?!?!

his back was faced towards u like always

and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny

but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore

you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing

and he

turned

around

for the first time EVER!!!!

its like he sensed someone staring at him

but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand

the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera

it was a larger black one

definitely more expensive

Awe good for him!!!!!

and then u glanced up to see his face

and u made EYE CONTACT

u looked away so fast

because

He was SO CUTE.............

u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him

‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’

hopefully he didnt notice

*nervously sweats*

u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki

eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home

U were still kind of thinking about that boy....

so u were like

i need to go back

and u did Lol

u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki

it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful

perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos

*evil laugh*

u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((

the one time u go there for HIM

u settled down under a tree

suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too

you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing

playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky

it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink

U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki

you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u

and

let me tell u what Happened..

u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like

‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head

and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right

idk bc u felt like it

AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????

THE BOY

LIKE 20 FEET AWAY

STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD

AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE

and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!

as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down

he like

Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that

he was embarrassed

ur cheeks were turning so red

BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE

was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um

he cleared that up BECAUSE

He started walking over to u

he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse

and a gray sweater with a black coat over it

HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK

ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{

n he just Plop

he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree

suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???

u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly

he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck

“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it

u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️

“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”

u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer

“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him

u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke

“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket

WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...

“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u

“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him

he grinned and pet her before looking up at you

“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute

“y/n” you smiled

“suki seems to like you” u laughed

“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”

“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki

u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too

“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him

his eyes light up when u say that

“yeah!”

AWE HES SO EXCITED

he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons

“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh

“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”

he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device

“woah” you let out a gasp

he showed u the picture he took of you first

How does a picture look better than real life...

you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it

“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says

“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped

“thanks”

“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture

“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin

SMOOTH.....

he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed

you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go

“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up

suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up

“i had fun too” you smile

“would you like me to walk you to your car?”

A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!

“oh yeah, thanks”

you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you

you reached your car and thanked him

“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”

“thank you..”

ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face

he is just the cutest thing ever

you definitely need to see him again

[its-ashley-95baybe]

I saw some talking about non fans. I noticed this the other day on Tom’s bday and saved the responses. Those anons aren’t wrong about others not believing it. I saw a tarot blog and copied what people said for the post.

-as i said they care about each other so the post is very sweet but also makes me sad to know that he isnt in it 100%

- I didn’t find the caption or photo romantic but it did give off we care about each other vibes and I can see that now more with them around each other but I’m not getting forever vibes anymore.

-His response to her sweet post with only a full 3 heart emojis is right on the money on how you said he’s no longer into it 100% he could have done so much more

-No matter what happens between Tom and Z I hope they are well. I know that they probably won’t have an easy time finding other people to be with because of so many people wanting them together. I think the post was kinda romantic but I also see how it could be pretty “friendship” type thing.

-Yeah I feel like zendaya is holding onto this relationship and Tom is over it. It’s so sad because their story is kind of cute but I think that it’ll hurt Zendaya less if she just moved on. She shouldn’t waste he time and energy is a negative situation when it can be used in a positive on with a better outcome! Her person will come though and I can’t wait till they do because Zendaya is giving to much to Tom!

Here is the the interesting tning. All the rumors that have been going around have been saying Tom will break up with zendaya. But also that they are still friendly and on good terms. From the look of this blog they aren’t antis nor tomdaya. Just typical fans. And this is what they are saying and seeing.

!!!!

[bow-wow-wark-wark]

3rd and last!!

Sasara

9/10

His speakers are sooo cute!! God!!! Like the cat thing is so sweet with the little gold coins. I mean, it's super space taking not gonna lie, but the visuals are super interesting, specifically in the glory or dust video with the gold coins moving around. I'm not sure why a cat but idc it's fun and goes well. (If anyone has any theories I'm willing to hear them out 😉)

Rosho

6/10

I have many thoughts (not really) about roshos speakers, not bc they're bad, dont get me wrong. The black board is sensical, the existence of the clock makes sense with it too, and I like that computer futuristic look; besides the own stage lyrics written in it is a very sweet touch. Also I like how theres a square there that mildly looks like a desk, very nice :000 the thing is the 10:31 on the clock bc its sasaras bday and that's quite odd, lmao. Like, I guess is a sensical nod to your friends but coupling with his mic choice being because of sasara (thanks to the person that explained it) I'd like if rosho had a purely about himself thing, I know that's part of his characther but.... many thoughts.

Rei

3/10

I really dislike Reis speakers, like it's one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. Like it's so much gold, it gets overwhelming; top this off with his mic that's also gold TOO MUCH GOLD MAN!! Barely any contrast at all, maybe if something was also red or white or even green. Also very space taking, blegh. The only saving point is thatI like the feathers flying around.

Kuuko

8.5/10

Kuukos speakers are one of my favorites!! Like the design is super cool, the dragon thing is totes nice, the green isnt the biggest on contrast but it does a nice mesh with kuukos clothes and its just straight up super bad ass!!! (Not team intended) Also I love how it could be based around that one story of the lady and the monk!!! Totes cool.

Jyushi

5/10

😖😖 I dont want to be too hard on jyushi bc he really is one of my favorites, but I ain't a fan of his speakers... then again, like with the mic, it is an amazingly on characther jyushi thing; like I couldn't picture anything else, but idk not the biggest fan. The  colors are a 50/50 in my brain, like the pink makes good contrast, since the grey is so boring but it looks like those cookies with filling in them.

Hitoya

5/10

Equal with jyushi, I dont want to be to harsh, but mild shitting on hitoya hours. I sorta dont like but do like the speakers, at the same time... Like in the picture where its facing front it looks pretty cool, but once you turn it on different directions it starts to look a little ridiculous. Just like with jyutos speakers, I think the cluster of engines (?!?!?! I really dont know shit about motorcycles) looks a lil ugly. The colors are fine tho, not much complains there, the second thing is that I sorta dont like how it rumbles so much; sensical but it looks odd.